Choosing the best care for an aging parent can be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll have to make.
But knowing what questions to ask and what to look for can make the process easier, says Nina Hundtermark, who is the marketing manager at Palermo Village Retirement Residence in Oakville. Nina is in regular contact with people who are facing this decision and she also knows from personal experience that it can be tough.
A few months after placing her mother in a retirement home, she realized her mother’s dementia had progressed to the point where she needed to be in a nursing home.
“I had her with me for five days and I knew after day one she didn’t belong in a retirement home. Unless you spend some time with them, they can hide it and hold it together,” said Nina.
Before considering retirement home living, there are numerous home support options to choose from, including Home Instead, Senior Helpers, and Nurse Next Door. They can provide a Personal Support Worker to help with bathing, dressing, feeding and getting someone to an appointment as well as engaging their clients in activities.
But how do you know when home care isn’t enough? As Nina learned first-hand, it’s not enough to simply talk to one’s parent. She suggests you check their fridge and cupboards to make sure they have nutritious food, watch how often they change their clothes, and try and see if they’re getting their nails trimmed. If they’re making excuses for not going out, it may be because they’re depressed from being alone too often.
“Watch for things like if they start to lose weight or if they’re not taking care of themselves. There can be very subtle signs, like they may be nervous talking to others because they’re getting forgetful,” said Nina.
The benefit of a retirement home is that they offer meals, companionship, laundry service, exercise programs, weekly housekeeping, and other services under one roof. To begin your search, Nina suggests you make a list of things you want, like an indoor pool, or a balcony, or a kitchen to bake in, then narrow the choice in homes down to two.
Take a tour of them and ask to stay for dinner and talk to the residents. Watch to see if the servers are engaged, if the food is hot and how people are greeted at the door.
“Small things can make a big difference,” said Nina.
Nina has noticed that many people start perking up after they’ve moved into a retirement home because they’re getting balanced meals and more social interaction. However, the deciding factor is in the senior’s attitude.
“If they’re not open to moving, it’s a losing battle because you know they’re not going to assimilate when they get in there.” However, with patience and the help of a caring staff, retirement homes can definitely provide peace of mind to today’s busy families who are often trying to juggle work with caring for their kids as well as aging parents. Fortunately there are many options available in the Halton area.
by Denise Davy
Verve Senior Living
Palermo Village Retirement Residence
3136 Dundas Street West, Oakville
Amica Bronte Harbour
160 Bronte Road, Oakville
Heathstone by the Lake
100 Burloak Drive, Burlington
Chartwell Oakville Retirement Residence
180 Oak Park Blvd, Oakville
Chartwell Waterford Retirement Residence
2160 Baronwood Drive, Oakville
Chartwell Lakeshore Retirement Residence
5314 Lakeshore Road, Burlington
Chartwell Christopher Terrace Retirement Residence
3131 New Street, Burlington
500 Appleby Line, Burlington
1893 Appleby Line, Burlington
345 Church Street, Oakville
25 Lakeshore Road West, Oakville
299 Randall Street., Oakville
4151 Kilmer Drive, Burlington
Vistamere Retirement Residence
380 Sherin Drive, Oakville
Home Instead Senior Care
Nurse Next Door